Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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