IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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