someone owes me an orgasm
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
