so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
