we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
