I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
