she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
