haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
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