It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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