At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
