Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
