He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
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