Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
