its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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