All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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