We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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