Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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