you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.