How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.