I am in a vortex of obligation.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?