Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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