better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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