i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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