guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Be still, my beating vagina.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
