so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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