I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
