I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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