I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
worst night to have a conscience
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
