He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
