this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm like, not good at living.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
