i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
