remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
