I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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