he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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