hotel room ftw
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
