No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
