dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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