You really coming over, don't trick.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?