There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY