theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.