Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
