Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
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The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
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so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?