I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy