Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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