did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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