His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
