Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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