so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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