walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize