I wannas sexs uuuuu
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
