Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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