When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
someone owes me an orgasm
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words: eviction party
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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