I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize