i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize