Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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