I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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