A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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