I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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