I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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