when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize