apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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